Everything

I read an article yesterday in which an 18 year old girl came home to find her boyfriend smoking crack in her bathroom. Apparently he wouldn't stop so she beat the crap out of him with a toilet seat. The police were called and he was charged with possession and she was charged with assault.

Seems to me that he had what was coming to him. Seems to me that they should be commending her for the fact that she wasn't going to tolerate the crack smoking punk. Maybe if the penalty for smoking crack was being brained with a toilet seat, fewer people would do it. (Okay, I really doubt that, but it SOUNDS good, doesn't it?) I hope like hell they gave her a standing ovation when they booked her.

About 5 years ago on a fall evening my dad and I were out on the back patio of our house in California when we heard a cat meowing. My dad grabbed a flashlight and we observed the skinniest cat that we had ever seen. He wasn't afraid of us, nor our 50 pound German Shepherd mix. I thought for sure that my dad was going to just tell me to let the cat be, but amazingly he offered to get it some food.

The cat ate ravenously, drank some offered water and promptly hurled on the bricks and began eating again. This time we only let him have a little and drink as much water as he cared to. We decided to put him up in the garage for the night with a bit of food and some water. I said to my dad, "You know he's here to stay." To which he replied, "Yeah, I know." We already had a cat and I didn't figure that he would be too interested in having another one.

Of course he stayed. Now began the task of naming a nearly full grown cat. He was very affectionate and appreciative. In fact, within a very short time he began eliminating the rat population in our garage. (We figured that this was pretty good exchange for room and board.) We thought about naming him Damn Cat II. We thought about naming him Lucky Bastard. We thought about giving him a myriad of other names. He didn't really seem to care what he was called so long as there was food and people. We finally settled on Killer as it soon became apparent that he was proficient in this area.

It should be noted that this cat probably DOES have nine lives and that by the time he adopted us, he had used at least one of them. Our backyard virtually opened into a vast wilderness called Angeles National Forest. Bobcat and coyotes frequented our yard, as well as racoons and owls. The fact that he avoided starvation and being eaten was pretty amazing, all things considered.

His next mishap was getting closed in the garage door. Face out, ass in. Yep, picture a yellow tabby cat protruding from the front of your garage. That would be him. Opening the garage door seemed the only logical way to get him out and as soon as he was free he sauntered off, unharmed. (Perhaps his dignity was bruised, but that was all.)

He also has a penchant for fighting. So each Spring that he has resided with us he gets carted off to the vet to stave off some infection that has left him lethargic, wounded and sick.

When we moved from L.A. to Florida he was no where to be found when it came time to put him in a crate and cart him off to LAX for the trip. At the last moment, literally as I am closing the car door, he saunters across the street. I pack him up and the next thing he knows he is on a plane to God knows where.

I have to give this cat a lot of credit for adjusting. I attempted to make him an indoor cat once we moved to Florida, but Chloe, my decidedly indoor cat, objected strongly and Killer is perhaps the whiniest beast I have ever encountered when he doesn't get his way. He wanted OUT! Now he enjoys the best of both worlds, at his whim. And he thanked us for his freedom by decimating the rat population in our new garage. I had to ask him nicely not to bring us any cute animals such as squirrels and bunnies as token of his undying love and appreciation. He seems to have gotten the point, but not until after he had made a minor dent in these populations.

Perhaps the quirkiest thing about this cat is his habit of lying in the middle of the street or behind my car. Or worse yet, when he sees me coming down the street, he goes and lays in the middle of the driveway. He seems to know that all of this makes me crazy. You see a cat that I had previously was hit while crossing the street to greet me when I came home from work. So to ensure my peace of mind, I get out of the car and chase Killer out of my parking space, out of the middle of the street or out from behind my car. And sometimes, he promptly comes right back and plops down in the same spot, usually about the time that I have gotten back into my car. I am pretty sure that he knows exactly what he is doing.

I am happy that he chose us. I think he did well to do so. He seems pretty pleased with the arrangement. Did I mention that he drools? Well, I will save that for another time...

Winter Park, FL (PRWE June 18, 2008 -- In response to consumer demand, on June 2, 2008, Advocate Auto Claims ramped up personnel and expanded its daily hours of operation. The company, which opened its doors to the public in April 2008, can now be reached Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. EDT, and around the clock at www.advocateautoclaims.com. "Through our affiliate company, we had been providing services exclusively to fleet owners and car rental companies, but we recognized the need to educate consumers about their rights and expand our operations," said Omar Quddus, President and Co-Founder of Advocate Auto Claims, LLC. "Consumer response to this service has been phenomenal."

Advocate Auto Claims specializes in what are called diminished value claims. "If you've ever sold a car that's been in an accident, you know from experience that it's simply not worth as much as the same car with an accident-free history," said Quddus. This phenomenon is called "diminished value," and the at-fault or third party's insurance company has an obligation to compensate the driver who was not at fault for this difference in market price. "Unfortunately, most consumers aren't aware that they are entitled to diminished value compensation - and insurance companies don't volunteer that information," said Quddus.

Few would argue that the concept of diminished value is intuitive. "It's commonplace - and common sense - for used car buyers to check a vehicle's accident and repair history using an online service like CARFAX or AutoCheck," said Quddus.

Yet insurance companies fight tooth and nail to keep from paying these diminished value claims, often putting even knowledgeable consumers in an untenable position. "Each insurance company has its own internal procedures, and there is a maze of regulations and legal loopholes that vary from state to state," said Quddus. "The burden of proving diminished value is always on consumers, and they simply don't have the experience to get the compensation they deserve."

This is precisely why Advocate Auto Claims has opened its doors to consumers. While drivers can pay out of pocket for a vehicle inspection or a diminished value report, Quddus' company specializes in handling every aspect of diminished value claims - and does so on a contingency basis. Advocate Auto Claims is able to do this because their affiliate company has a 10-year track record of success in working with diminished value claims on behalf of fleet owners and rental car agencies.

It's likely that, each year, millions of consumers don't file the diminished value claims to which they're entitled. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that police officers reported close to six million traffic crashes in 2006 (the latest year for which statistics are available). "Although car owners routinely file insurance claims for car repairs and injuries, they almost always overlook the long-term impact that an accident will have on their vehicle's value," said Quddus.

Although drivers not at fault are usually in the dark about their rights, Quddus is determined to shine a light on diminished value claims, and Advocate Auto Claims stands ready to insist that consumers get the compensation they deserve. "The process of establishing diminished value and then negotiating the proper compensation is both an art and a science," Quddus says. "We're committed to supporting each and every consumer whose vehicle suffers from diminished value after an accident."

About Advocate Auto Claims, LLC:
Advocate Auto Claims, LLC is the industry leader in processing diminished value claims on behalf of the public. With expert knowledge of state-by-state and federal caselaw, legislation, and regulatory rulings - as well as insurance company procedures - Advocate Auto Claims is uniquely positioned to successfully pursue diminished value claims throughout the U.S. For more information, please visit http://www.advocateautoclaims.com.

For more information, contact:
Laura Betterly
Media Spokesperson
(866) 596-6011

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Advocate Auto Claims
Laura Betterly
866-596-6011
E-mail Information: r@advocateautoclaims.com">pr@advocateautoclaims.com

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter."

"You'll have to drive around in his 2007 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips."

"This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive," she added.

"A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc., located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year," she continued.

The guy, just plain wide-eyed said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well, you started it."

Laura Betterly, CEO of Yada Yada Marketing was recently interviewed for an article that appeared in TheStreet. The article covered ways to market to parents.

You can find the full article here:
http://www.thestreet.com/story/10417905/2/six-tips-for-marketing-to-parents.html