The following is an e-mail from my friend’s daughter, Sarah. She is in the Marines. She recently had shore leave in Singapore.

So it’s supposed to be a Democracy. At least that’s what it says in the tourist books. However, I might be inclined to quibble, since the President is the one who elects the Prime Minister, cabinets, and all other major government posts. Might be. If I cared enough. Which, incidentally, I don’t. Crazy me, thinking that in a democracy the people were supposed to elect such minor posts as Prime Minister. But I don’t care. Even the US doesn’t really rate the term democracy anymore, so who am I to pick on their social structure? Besides, we are not here for a political sciences class.

Why are we here, again? Oh yeah?!

What I’ve learned in Singapore:

Marines really do have an interesting tendency to believe they’re exempt to all laws but their own. Incidentally, caning is alive and well in Singapore.

McDonald’s are universal. However, details tend to flux. In Hawaii, all meals come with pineapple. In Singapore, most of the meats are made of turkey replacements. Doesn’t that kinda defeat the point of getting a bacon cheeseburger?

Americans, compared to the more sedate cultures of the East, are incredibly loud and obnoxious. Thank god they’re willing to put up with us for our money, cause otherwise we’d never have anywhere to vacation.

It actually is possible to keep public transportation systems nice. Just implement a $1000 fine for eating, drinking, smoking, chewing gum, spitting, or not giving up your seat to someone more needy than yourself. Easy.

The quickest way to master using chopsticks? Don’t have any way to get a fork.

If you don’t have a light to help you cross the street, be prepared to have cars actually speed up and aim at you.

There is a reason Orchard Towers is called the Four Floors of Whores. And ewww!!

I’m sure there’s more, but my brain is numb. Thank god they give us a recovery day after libo ports. I call it the Get Over Hangover Day. Even if, like myself, you’re not hungover, it’s still pretty amazing how hard the lack of sleep and physical exhaustion catch up with you. I was wide awake at 10 this morning. I laid down in my rack to finish a book. And then I was wide awake again at 6:30 tonight. Hmmm.

But Singapore was awesome. We pulled into Changi Naval Base on Thursday
afternoon, and they started letting us off the ships around 5 or 6 that
evening. They have busses running to take everyone to the nearest MRT
station (think NYC subways – only way way nicer). You spend the first
couple hours trying to get cash and figure out where you’re going and how
exactly the passes work to let you on the damn train. After that, you
suddenly have the freedom to go most anywhere you want to. And if mass
transit isn’t your thing, the taxis are pretty reasonably priced, as well. Just make sure they use the meter if you don’t feel like haggling.

That’s another thing – you can argue the price of almost anything. Unless you’re incredibly lazy like me, in which case you shrug and go “Hey, they gotta make a living too!”

Friday and Saturday were spent walking around Singapore. Chinatown, Little India, Orchard Road, Raffles Plaza… They have malls here that are 5 and 6 stories tall. It’s a shopper’s paradise, but it’s sneaky, too. You go through money very quickly, and hardly even notice its passing. Good thing I have nothing to do for the next month but sit here and make more money simply by existing!

So all in all, Singapore gets two very enthusiastic thumbs-up. I didn’t
bankrupt myself, and I didn’t get caned. I consider this a VERY successful libo port.