Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a
shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a
cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, “”Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?”"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi. He
glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called
him a “”doughnut-eating Gestapo.”" He finished the second ticket and put it
on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went
on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus and the car that he
was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said “”Hillary in
08.”"

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.

LIVE! From the Science department, here is the latest breaking news:

It has been rumored that several parents have been disturbed recently by mysterious sounds in the dark of the night, only to find that the sound disappeared just as soon as the light was turned on to look for it… Then, giving up, the distraught parents would go back to bed, only to have the evil sound reappear shortly thereafter (and so on, ad nauseam).

Did this happen to you? If so, I’m entirely to blame (no, really). You have been the victim of a very small electronic gadget called an “Aggravator.” Quite a few of these devious devices were build by Washburn Academy high school students in the recent “Electronics 101″ class.

It’s a simple device that uses a light sensitive do-hickey to control a circuit that will then wait 5 minutes before activating a “tone generator” (buzz maker), generating this highly aggravating sound. These devices were built from scratch, starting with a bag of electronic parts and a soldering iron.

First, of course, the students had to learn how to solder. Once that was in hand, they then had to identify and define the various parts: resistors, capacitors, transistors and more, and understand how to place them correctly on a printed circuit board.

This whole procedure gives the students lots of hands-on experience and mass on the various electronics parts. Then, as I follow this up with my little lectures about how the components work…well, let’s just say we have a bunch of up-and-coming electronic geniuses on our hands pretty soon (so watch out!).

We have now started an Electronics Class 102, with even more students attending. This time however, we are building an electronic device that will prove only mildly aggravating towards the parents… unless you like to listen to the radio of course.

We are building about 15 FM Radio Transmitters. If you happen to tune into your favorite FM radio station in the near future, you should not be surprised if you hear your “geek” (and proud of it) child broadcasting their own special show. Not to worry – the range of these FM radio stations is only about 900 ft at their peek performance. Of course that’s enough to cause some interesting effects in the neighborhood.

Anything to get our budding and blossoming geeks motivated, right?

Stay tuned for further updates from the Washburn Academy Science Department.

Best Regards,
Chief Geek
Torben Hansen,
Washburn Academy
Math/Science Teacher

Washburn Academy can be contacted at washburnacademy@gmail.com. You can also call the main school phone at (727) 647-1668.

Welcome to the February edition of the Washburn Academy PTA Newsletter! January was a busy month as you can see from all the news below. The Parent Teacher Association encourages you to forward this newsletter to your friends and family to let them know what our children have been up to at school.

Good Will

Did you know that Washburn Academy is the largest and most active Volunteer Minister group in the Tampa Bay area? With a small army of high school and middle school students, our Volunteer Ministers are at the ready to help out at food pantries, community events, assisting individuals in need, as well as contributing their time and efforts to disaster relief and the Virginia Tech shooting.

The Lower School students in Richard and Roberta’s classes continued in their effort to keep their adopted park free of litter and more enjoyable for the community. They are definitely Volunteer Ministers in the making!

Physical Education & Sports Highlights

The Girls Basketball season got underway in January. The girls played their first game against Veritas and won! We are very proud of all the girls and their coach, Neil Washburn, as well as assistant coach and player, Ayla Hubbard.

The Lower School students are working on meeting National Standards of Health in their daily PE classes. In addition, Quentin teaches them various games and exercises.

In the Middle School and High School sports classes students can choose from a variety of activities. One of the classes offered by “Grandpa” (Bob) is tackle football on Mondays and Thursdays. This is also part of the Girls Basketball team’s practice time.

Student Highlights

The most improved student in Roberta’s class this month is Dillon. Roberta said that he has been making his targets every day and his handwriting is now extremely neat! She also said that he has become very reliable running errands for Roberta, and he is very proud to be of service. Well done!

The most improved student in Richard’s class is is Weibke. Richard said that she completed her flash cards and her math. Additionally6 she worked hard to graduate from the 3rd grade! Well done!

The most improved student for Neil’s class is Daniil. According to Neil he recently completed all of his math requirements, including the highest algebra courses that are offered at Washburn. (This is some pretty challenging math!) Daniil said that at his school in Russia he hated math and was not very good at it before. He now says that he likes math. Well done!

The most improved students in Shawn’s class were Moham and Ryan. Shawn says that both have shown great improvement! Further, both students are productive in class and reaching for more work. Ryan’s goal is to be an auto mechanic and is lining himself up to do this and attend college through a scholarship program. Shawn said that Moham is seriously rolling up her sleeves and applying study tech to get through her entrance program with no wasted time. Well done to both students.

Staff Highlights

Richard Washburn, one of our lower school teachers, is a HUGE history buff! It doesn’t take much at all to get him going on this subject! This passion extends beyond the classroom and into his private life. He is a big fan of the History Channel, but he also attends events that re-enact important time periods in history. Richard’s enthusiasm for history makes the subject interesting for his own students, but he also routinely does seminars for high school students, which they LOVE!

To Our Parents

As parents, the highest compliment that we can give the school is to refer families to Washburn Academy. The school now has business cards that you can give to people you would like to introduce to the school.

The PTA is also collecting “Box Tops” and Campbell’s soup labels. Recently when we mailed in the Box Tops the school got a check for over $50.00. This is an easy way to support the school without spending extra money!

And lastly, Shawn wanted to encourage us as parents to stay in touch with our children’s teachers. Parent conferences are supposed to be held quarterly, so if you haven’t gotten a recent update on your child’s progress, please make arrangements with your child’s teacher.
Any of the Washburn teachers or staff may be reached by e-mail at washburnacademy@gmail.com. You can also call the main school phone at (727) 647-1668. Shawn also said that parents are always welcome to see their child’s teacher after school, but in order to ensure availability call or e-mail first.

From the Editor

I decided to start a PTA newsletter to help us (as parents) be better informed about the daily activities of our children at school. I really want you to encourage you to send this to your friends and family. It is a great way to help the grandparents, aunts and uncles see what your kids have been up to. My mom loves to hear about my son volunteering at the food pantry!

Best,
Jen Nickerson

Thousands of people have had great success using LeatherMate to clean and restore their leather from tack to shoes.

“I had no success removing grass stains from my runners, nothing worked until Leather Mate was demonstrated to me. I was so impressed I bought a tub. Once I started cleaning it was so easy I got carried away and cleaned everything I could find. It really breathed life in to my older handbags and my son’s well-worn shoes.”
J. S.

Click here to find out more about Leather Mate (also known as Urad).

Leather shoes are a great choice for a good looking, high quality dress shoe. Shining shoes and keeping them looking good can often be a chore, especially dress shoes for children.

Basic Do’s & Don’ts for Leather Shoes:

DO:

• Use high quality products made specifically for leather cleaning and leather conditioning.
• Use a high quality leather conditioner every few months to keep the leather soft and prevent drying out.
• Allow leather leather to dry at room temperature if it has gotten wet.
• Store in cool dry places that are well ventilated.

DON’T:

• Expose your leather shoes to hairspray, perfume or body sprays. If they are sprayed with these or similar products, simply clean and condition the shoes as above.
• Use soap, cleaning fluids (not meant for leather) or mink oil.
• Never store in plastic as it will cause the leather to dry out.
• Polish suede, roughout or patent leather.
• “Instant” or “EZ” shoe polishes can actually harm leather shoe, usually do not last and have a tendency to come off on clothing.
• Try to use black polish to change the color of brown leather. If you want to do this, hire a professional shoemaker to dye the shoes.

There are a number of leather care products out there. Some are messy and difficult to use and some simply don’t work. We’ve found that the best product out there (Leather Mate also know as Urad) was created by an Italian for the leather industry. This product not only cleans and polishes leather and vinyl but also conditions leather as well. This high-quality product is, very effective, easy to use (even children can use it with no fear of mess or clothing damage), biodegradable and won’t dry out leather. For more information on this product, go to Leather Save.

Example: “My children go to a private school and have to have well polished school shoes. It used to be a nightmare because if they polished their own shoes they’d ruin clothing, furniture, carpets and get polish all over the house. It meant that I had to do all the shoes, and frankly, it was an awful job I just didn’t have time for. Now they’re able to just quickly wipe Leather Mate over their shoes as we’re zipping out the door in the morning. They can polish their own shoes without creating a mess, their expensive uniforms aren’t being damaged by polish stains, and their shoes not only look good but don’t seem to get the same sort of damage they used to.

I’ve thrown out all my other leather care products. They were difficult, messy and unpleasant to use so I never quite got around to using them. The first time I used Leather Mate I was so pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to use that I went crazy and used it on absolutely everything. I did all our bags, briefcases, wallets, purses, the dashboard in the car, our leather couch, and the shoes of anyone who happened to come into our house. Unlike the other products I used to have gathering dust, I actually use Leather Mate all the time because it’s so quick and easy.”
N.C.

Article by Kris Nickerson
Kris Nickerson, http://www.livingness.com, is a veteran writer covering a variety of topics. Kris is also active in a variety of social betterment programs. “

NEW LAW COMING FROM CONGRESS: Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) – WASHINGTON , DC

Congress is considering sweeping legislation which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major piece of legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. “Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said Senator Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over.” House Majority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, was heard to say, “With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing.”

The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), home improvement warehouse stores (65%), and car dealerships (58%). The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

All private sectors lag far behind local, state and Federal government, however (93%).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million “middle man” positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA bill contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as “Do you have any goals for the future?” or “Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?”

“As a Nonabled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Paris Hilton. “This new law should really help people like me.” With the passage of this bill, Hilton and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy, “It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation.” The Senator’s office at the same time issued this statement: “The Senator fully identifies with the people this legislation is designed to help.”

Taco Soup

1 lb ground beef
1 can corn
2 cans kidney beans
1 can stewed tomatoe
1 can chopped olives
1 taco seasoning package
Chopped up red onion

brown meat then dump all items together including liquid execpt olive juice. if needed add a little water to make more liquid for soup.Bring to a boil and cook down for 10 minutes or so. Serve with grated cheese, sour cream and frittos on top.
greatest thing is you can add or take away whatever you want and customize it to your tastes. very quick and taste great, just like tacos!

“Minneapolis–It started out as a normal Wednesday night commute but turned into a living nightmare when the entire span of the Interstate 35W bridge broke into sections and collapsed into the Mississippi River right in the heart of rush hour traffic.

When the entire span of the Interstate 35W collapsed into the Mississippi River the Church of Scientology of Minneapolis immediately activated its Volunteer Ministers disaster response team to help at the site.

At least a dozen cars and trucks plunged into the river, and as rescue workers rushed to the scene, the Church of Scientology of Minneapolis activated its Volunteer Ministers disaster response team to provide any help that was needed. Later that night the Volunteer Ministers Consultant in Los Angeles received a call from a Minneapolis resident named Julie to express her thanks for all their help.

Julie and her son were on the bridge when it collapsed. “The Volunteer Ministers came in with their yellow shirts, and came to me and said ‘Anything we can do, let us know.’ They were there helping–the most horrific of scenes you could imagine,” she said. She described how they “miraculously got food, water and ice and helped distribute it. It was just unbelievable. It was like a miracle when they appeared. It was the help we desperately needed.”

For the past three decades Scientology Volunteer Ministers have been bringing help to their communities. Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard described the Volunteer Minister as “a person who helps his fellow man on a volunteer basis by restoring purpose, truth and spiritual values to the lives of others.”

24 Aug 2007

With today’s announcement that the search for more survivors from last week’s Peruvian earthquake has ended, efforts are now concentrated on bringing help to the more than 100,000 left homeless. The Scientology Disaster Relief Team, headquartered in the City of Pisco, Peru, is mobilizing volunteers from around the world and will train anyone who wants to help in the relief effort.

Peru President Alan Garcia announced today that rebuilding this region is his government’s highest priority, but getting needed supplies to victims of the disaster, particularly in and around the city of Pisco and outlying mountain areas, is an urgent problem.

Donations of funds and supplies are pouring in from governments and organizations. The United Nations has pledged a million dollars in relief funds and Brazil, Mexico, Argentina, South Korea, the United States, France and Spain are among the countries sending aid, including medicine, water and food.

Scientology Volunteer Ministers, who were in Iquitos, Peru, making final preparations for a planned August 18th launch of the Scientology Volunteer Ministers Amazon Goodwill Tour, postponed their project and flew to the City of Pisco, where they are now directing the work of the Scientology Disaster Relief Team forming up in that area.

Volunteer Ministers provide urgently needed relief for local residents, and administrative skill to bring order and ensure maximum help in times of disaster. They are also specialists in trauma relief. They not only help on a one-on-one basis but they also train local agencies, organizations and individuals in these techniques.

Their expertise comes from experience gained at hundreds of disaster sites including the Indian Ocean tsunamis of 2004, and natural disasters in the Philippines, Indonesia, Australia, Africa and in the aftermath of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita in the US.

“Volunteers have arrived in Peru from as far away as Mexico City and Los Angeles,” said Veronica Albano, spokesperson for the Scientology Volunteer Ministers. “One volunteer from Mexico City was thrilled that not only was his visa and that of one of his colleagues rushed through, but he also received an official letter giving them access to the disaster zone.”

On learning about the Scientology Disaster Relief Team, another volunteer, a 19-year-old Peruvian student in Los Angeles, California, contacted his friends in his hometown of Lima, and he and his friends have joined the team. “I am not a Scientologist,” he said “but I know that this Volunteer Ministers Disaster Relief program has been effective for many years in helping other areas struck by disasters, and I know I can make a difference. That’s why I decided to go.”

For the past three decades the Volunteer Ministers program, created by Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard, has been living up to its motto, that no matter how bad it is “Something CAN be Done About It.” To find out how to join the Volunteer Ministers team or to donate to support those on the ground in Peru, contact 1-800-HELP-4-YU or email the Volunteer Ministers Coordinator at vm@volunteerministers.org.

philosophy of ambiguity…

1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the
sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…..

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we
still have monkeys and apes?

5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,
“where’s the self-help section?” she said if she told me, it would
defeat the purpose.

6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

7. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his
hands with soap?

8. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to
kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

9. Is there another word for synonym?

10. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it
all”?

11. What do you do when you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?

12. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his
wages?

13. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

14. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? are they
afraid someone will clean them?

15. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or
naked?

16. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

17. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has
the right to remain silent?

18. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank
machines?

19. How do they get deer to cross the road only at
those yellow road signs?

20. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

21. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about
other people.

22. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

23. How is it possible to have a civil war?

24. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest
drown too?

25. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still
be hungry?

26. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

27. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have
“s” in it?

28. Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead
of “assteroids”?

29. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot
them?

30. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

31. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times
does he become disoriented?

32. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?